I decided to write again.  Sometimes I wonder if it is good to post all of my feelings.  I used to write in a journal.  I did that for years.  I just feel so alone and I think it would be good for me to write these things down.  

I am trying really hard to get through this, this feeling of despair and frustration.  It comes and goes often.  Unfortunately more often than not.  I haven't worked for a few months now and to be honest I don't think it would be a good idea to go back if I wanted to.  Everyday seems hard.  It is a struggle to be okay.  A few weeks ago I felt so wonderful I was besides myself.  clearly that feeling is gone.  

This illness sucks!  I want to feel normal I want to cope with the small challenges that life holds.  I feel like there was a time that I could do that.  In fact I know there was.